


need you like water in my lungs

by dizzyondreams



Category: Free!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Living Together, M/M, and haru comforts him, rin suffers from nightmares basically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-31
Updated: 2014-08-31
Packaged: 2018-02-15 11:52:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2228031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzyondreams/pseuds/dizzyondreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haru felt a familiar sadness settle deep in his chest as Rin flinched away from him again, not seeing Haru, but only his nightmare.</p>
            </blockquote>





	need you like water in my lungs

Haru awoke to a hand knocking him squarely in the face. He mumbled a curse, still half-asleep, then bolted awake as he heard a half-sob from the person next to him.

“Rin?” He mumbled, squinting to try and make out his form in the darkness. He was thrashing around, crying out in his sleep, words intelligible and frightened. Haru sat up, the sheets pooling around his hips as he reached out towards Rin, who flinched at the contact as Haru curled a hand around his bicep and shook him. “Rin, it’s a dream.” He muttered, shaking him harder as Rin sobbed again, slapping his hand away from his arm. “Wake up.” 

By the glow of the streetlight through their window, the one Rin hated and blamed on his inability to get to sleep, he could see Rin’s eyes were open; wide and unseeing, full of fear. Haru felt a familiar sadness settle deep in his chest as Rin flinched away from him again, not seeing Haru, but only his nightmare.

“Rin,” He said, holding out a hand, voice low. “It’s Haru.” He ground the heel of his hand into his eye, trying to chase away the remnants of sleep as Rin whimpered. “Wake up.” He said, firmer, shaking Rin until his eyes cleared and his cries faded out to shaky sobs.

“Haru.” Rin said weakly, staring around the dark room, shaking his head to clear his mind of the nightmare. Haru watched him motionlessly, waiting for Rin to come to him. He knew better than to move towards him, hated when Rin would cringe away from him like Haru was the one trying to hurt him. Rin exhaled shakily, breath catching on a sob before he finally shuffled closer to Haru and let himself be held.

“It’s okay.” Haru said soothingly, burying his fingers in Rin’s hair as he held him against his chest. The headboard dug into his bare back, but he couldn’t move with the heavy weight of Rin on his chest, the sadness in his lungs. “It was just a dream.” He murmured, feeling Rin draw shaky breaths against his skin, trembling slightly.

He quietened down as Haru kept stroking his hair, his other arm drawing Rin against him tightly, like he was afraid he’d disappear if he loosened his grip. Sometimes, he wondered about that, whether Rin would get lost in the darkness if Haru wasn’t there to wake him, to hold him through the aftermath. He dropped a kiss to Rin’s hair, damp from sweat and still smelling of the chlorine. It was a smell that was synonymous to Rin now, the smell of summer and their childhood. Rin just tightened his arm around Haru’s waist, shoulders shaking.

“You can cry.” Haru murmured, eyes flicking to the clock to see just how early it was. The little red numbers, 3:45, seemed to flicker mockingly at him as his eyes blurred with tiredness. It always happened like this, Rin’s fears always came to head in the early hours of the morning, leaving him crying and curled against Haru’s chest. Haru knew Rin couldn’t stand being alone, and would give up any amount of sleep to just be a warm body and a silent presence when he needed it most. 

Rin made a self-deprecating little noise against his collarbones but didn’t answer. Haru could feel his shaky breathing as he ran a soothing hand over Rin’s back, feeling the muscles under a fine layer of goosepimples. It wasn’t cold in the room, the summer warmth still lingering, but Haru drew the blankets up around them anyway. 

“It’s okay.” He murmured again, knowing what Rin needed to hear when he got like this. “You’re okay.” He said, laying his palm flat between Rin’s shoulder blades, feeling him shake as Rin finally let out a choked, bitten-off sob against Haru’s chest.

“Fuck.” He mumbled, the first word all night, not counting the fearful, half-asleep, ‘Haru’ from earlier. He clenched his fist, Haru felt Rin’s knuckles digging into his belly, as another sob wracked through him. “I’m pathetic.” He mumbled miserably, and Haru could feel hot tears on his skin now, knew that if he were to kiss Rin now he’d taste of salt, bitter little tears. 

“You’re not.” Haru murmured, feeling that odd nostalgic sadness well up in him again. How many times had Rin muttered those tear-drenched words into his skin? How many times had he sat up in the dark, listening to cars go by, the world come to life, waiting for Rin to fall asleep again?

Rin didn’t reply, just curled his fingers against Haru’s torso, feather light touches that could be almost teasing without the heavy cloud of Rin’s nightmare hanging over them. He huffed out a shaky little breath, catching in the tears in the back of his throat.

“I was drowning again.” Rin murmured, so quietly that Haru almost didn’t hear him. “Water was in my mouth, and in my lungs. I was gonna die.” He lapsed into silence, Haru waiting patiently for him to finish. He knew the dream off by heart, now. It was the same dream almost every night. “Then I realised,” Rin muttered, skating his fingertips over Haru’s stomach. “Nobody was coming for me. I was completely alone.”

Haru frowned down at the top of Rin’s head, hair sleep-mussed and escaping from his usual lazy ponytail. Normally he woke up as soon as he started drowning for real, or at least got loud enough that Haru woke up to shake him awake too. He was speaking before he realised it, voice low in the stillness of the room. “I’d come for you.” He said assuredly. “I’d never leave you.” He added, slightly quieter. He supposed he should be embarrassed, that was such a _Rin_ thing to say, so overly romantic and dramatic, but there was something about the early hours of the morning which let him say stuff like that. It was an oddly liminal time, a period where he felt separated from the rest of the world. Nights like this, he felt like he and Rin could be the only people in the world, or the only people that mattered, anyway.

Rin made a small noise against his chest and shuffled back a little so he could look Haru in the eye. He was so absurdly pretty, even with his nose red from crying, eyelashes clumped together with tears. 

“I know.” Rin mumbled, rubbing at his wet eyes. “Love you.” He added, almost as an afterthought, gazing at Haru through his lashes.

“Love you too.” Haru murmured, and drew him close for a kiss, nothing more than a comforting press of lips before Rin drew away. His lips tasted of salt, just like Haru had thought, and silently he maneuvered him until they were both lying down; Rin lying with his face pressed into Haru’s chest, Haru’s arm thrown protectively over his back.

“Get some sleep.” Haru said, tracing circles into Rin’s back. “I’ll be right here.” He added, and Rin made a soft, sleepy noise of affirmation against his skin.

Haru settled back against the pillow, listening to the sounds of Rin’s breathing as it slowed and evened out, the tension in his back disappearing as he slipped into sleep. _He must be exhausted_ , Haru thought idly, craning his neck to see Rin’s lax, peaceful face. He hadn’t been sleeping much, if at all, recently. If it wasn’t nightmares it was insomnia, sending him wandering around their apartment at all hours of the night. He’d never been a good sleeper though, and living together had only made Haru realise that.

He lay back and turned his face to the window, listening to the peaceful sound of Rin’s breathing as passing cars lit their tiny bedroom with sporadic yellow light. The hum of car engines mingled with the sounds of Rin sleeping as the lines between sleep and wakefulness blurred until he too was fast asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> loud shrug idk how i feel about this but ?? i hope it's okay i'm sorry if there's any mistakes it's kinda late here and i'm just about ready to knock out ok sorry hope u enjoyed
> 
> title from play crack the sky by brand new


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